Me and Anthony are anti social the second we drive into our neighborhood. We like to keep to ourselves. I don't know how we have gotten into this crutch. I am very chipper and outgoing at work and when I'm out and about doing regular things. But when I get home I like to be left alone....period. If you come over unannounced you won't be invited in. This is true. Whenever the doorbell rings and we don't know whom it is, we put the t.v/radio/other activities on mute and sit in silence. This is horrible, I get it. But in my defense, I have seen far too many 48 hour mysteries episodes and I just can't fathom opening the door at night now. Even during the day, if Anthony isn't home, I won't do it. Do you remember the episode of the lady that answered the door to find a lovely bunch of flower, then was shot down? Yeah......I can't handle the simple pleasure of opening the door now.
Anyways.............on to the real point of this post.
A couple of days ago me and the man decided we would take a little trip to Costco. As we were getting our shoeies on and searching for the keys, purse, phone...the doorbell rang.
Since we were standing right by the door and basically had the hand on the doorknob we decided against our better judgment to open it. There stood our neighbor....you've been blessed enough to meet him before, if not, please take a look at his opening act
This is how the following conversation played out:
Doorman: Hello, I am your new Avon Lady (he said lady, I kid you not) representing our neighborhood.
Anthony: (in awe) Ooooookay
Doorman: Would you like a pamphlet with the new fall line?
Anthony: Uhhhh no thank you, I don't think we are interested
Lindsey Pops out from behind the door
Lindsey: Of course I would!
I snatch up the booklet and then the doorman stands there for a second and then begins his script
Doorman: I will come around every Wednesday to check on your order and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaah blah.
We say goodbye and I stare at Anthony. Did that just happen? Did he really say he was the new Avon Lady? Then, as if I wasn't laughing hard enough Anthony says this cherry of a line.
Anthony: Can you believe that? Our Avon lady has two first names!!!!
Apparently his last name is a first name in Anthonys book and that was what stunned him!
Wednesday rolls around and that is the mans late night for school. The doorbell rang around 7:30. It was dark out. I just so happened to be singing (at the top of my lungs) "Don't stop believin" by Journey. The blinds were open a little and I clearly was home. I stopped midtune and ran up on the stares. The doorbell rang again. I started texting Shanna and Anthony and letting them know that a double doorbeller was at my home and that I needed them to know that if I died, they would need to check the fingerprints on the doorbell.
After the moment died down I realized "SHOOT it was probably just my new avon representative! I hope he comes back next Wednesday, during the day, or this relationship is just not going to work out.
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5 comments:
Ha ha ha ha ha I love this! Linds you think exactly how I do. I never answer the door!! But if I have the tv or radio on... I just turn it up louder so that they might think "Oh.. they must be busy or can't hear me knocking.. I'll try back later" Ive been thinking about getting a "beware of dog" sign and a dog or maybe just a dog sound that I could hit whenever someone comes so that they might be afraid to come back!
haha funny! I think every girl doesnt answer the door! When I was in Portland, Peter thought Id be fun to talk to the missionaries and invite them in one day. EVERY week they would knock...of course when Peter would be at work. I would stop what Im doing, sit in silence and run into the bathroom.
Your story cracks me up. I laughed about it. A male Avon consultant. I understand the hiding and not answering of the door. There have been times I hid on the floor behind the couch, just to make sure the visitors could not see me through my closed curtains. However, I usually answer the door. It is the phone I prefer to avoid. I definitely screen my calls with the caller Id
From your previous posts about your fears and experiences in your neighborhood, I completely understand not answering the door.
haha. I don't open the door either. Even if I'm visible through the window. If I don't know you or didn't invite you over, you're not getting in.
The time that Steph and I hid behind the couch was HOME TEACHERS and they had an appointment. Yeah, we're going to Hell for sure!
I love your Avon Rep, and I truley hope you are able to build a relationship with him. Maybe if the two of you get close enough you could talk to him about the crack situation...
You know me and doors...no answering for knockers!
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