slit girl...not to be confused as slut girl

First of all, I feel as if I am a pretty patient person. Ask anyone.... besides my husband, family members, friends and co workers. With that being said, I feel as if one can only take so many rug burn butt rubs on ones jeans from an unknown male before loosing their patience.....am I making any sense? Then lets start at the beginning shall we?

Keith Urban Concert. I got to go. Unfortunately for some unapparent reason, even to me, I was not in the best of moods. Sometimes I get that way, it happens to the best of us. Why I had to get that way on Keith Urban night, well I know not. As soon as I settled into my seat I realized that things weren't going to go my way, nor was my mood going to improve as I had hoped it would. Next to me was a nasty (emphasis on nasty) lovey dovey young couple, probably in there late teens. They were teasing each other, sucking on each others necks and jabbing each other. I was then jabbed numerous times. Did I ask to be included in their game? No...no I did not.

DISCLAIMER: There is nothing wrong with being in love, please refer back to this sentence when/if I become too filled with rage later on.

Little big town opened for Keith. I don't really know any of their songs so I basically just sat there staring into the abyss, wondering why I had to look past the neck suckers to see the stage. Why oh why do things like this seems to happen to me? I noticed half way through that my too big pants were half way down my butt. As I go to adjust I somehow managed to cross that seat divider and brush her leg.... This was not her leg, it was her thigh. She wore a very short skirt. Then as if it weren't short enough there were slits on both sides. I managed to touch between these mentioned slits. I was horrified when I touched her. Like touching a hot stove...I jumped back. Things went downhill from there.

Keith came out. Slit girl switched places with her man candy (probably because I was inappropriately brushing her). The lights dimmed down and we all stood up. They then begin making out. I must be getting old, but it was nasty to me. Also they began grinding, dirty dancing or what have you. This would be fine in the comforts of your own home, or a club, or anywhere other than a foot from me. Numerous times during the concert his butt rubbed up against my thigh. Was he getting back at me for copping a field with his woman? I have no idea. But I was getting angry. They inched closer and closer. Also did I mention that it was sweltering hot? I was sweating beads...I don't even sweat at the gym. The smell of hundreds of sweaty people started to get the better of me. My head started to pound, the strobe lights got more and more intense. The heat and smell also affected a young boy 4 or 5 seats down from me.

This poor boy got up numerous times. It wasn't that big of a bothersome because my brain was more focused on my neighbor and his butt giving me rug burns. The last time this boy got up he was holding his mouth and looking not 100%. I looked down and when he lifted his foot there were barf footprints. As he passed me I instantly picked up my purse and it sat on my lap for the last 20 minutes. Soon after my rug burn friend sneezed on my arm. He was being a gentlemen and was sneezing away from his woman. A gentleman for one but a inconsiderate schmuck for another.

I couldn't handle another moment. My sister luckily left early and I hitched a ride with her. I was sweaty, possibly covered in swine flu snot and barf. It was not a glamorous feeling.

Keith was good though. I got some pictures of him, but this post wasn't about him. It was a bout a slit girl, her inconsiderate schmuck, and a barf boy.

I don't know how to smoothly end this novel. But I want you to know though that I took a bath. It didn't wash away the rage I felt, but it did help the gruesomeness of it all. Thanks for reading.